A friend

This will be a long post. So much to say about an ex-boss. For privacy reasons I'll just call him ML. For 19 years I've worked for the same grocery store. Started in the special cheese section and then moved to the deli then landed in seafood. I was married in August 95. Just before I left for my wedding the meat manager asked me if I would be interested in learning how to wrap meat and work in that department. The full time wrapper had to go out on medical leave and he needed a replacement. Why not? I was very nervous going into that room. It's a very manly kind of place. Blood everywhere. Noise from the saws ect. But Yvonne took me under her wing and started the training process. There's a lot to learn and she was (still is) a great teacher. ML always had a smile on his face. Young and very cute with big dimples he was a huge practical joker (still is). As time went on ML would find each persons "button". He knew what to say to make you just want to kill him but laugh at the same time. He worked harder and smarter than any other manager I have every known. He wanted and encouraged you to think for yourself. He came to trust the decisions you made but if you screwed up he'd let you know. My button was a girl named Sue. ML would tell me she was better and could wrap faster than me. That just made me work harder. I became very good at my job because of him. A few months after I got married I became pregnant with LE. the doctor wanted me to watch my weight very closely while pregnant so I started bringing my lunch to work. Several times my peanut butter and jelly sandwich disappeared. ML was stealing my lunch. So on pb/j days I made 2 ,1 for me and 1 for ML. I worked almost full time up until a month before I was due. ML was on vacation when I was told no more work. The last thing he said before he left was "you won't be here when I get back." Up till that time I was fine and had every intention of working up until my water broke but he somehow knew better. Doctor took me out early. On the way home from the hospital 56 hours after giving birth by C-section we took this brand new bundle of joy to see ML but he wasn't in. Called out sick. I was so disappointed he wasn't there. He never took sick time. Without going into details I'm not sure he would want me to share, ML's life was a miracle. 46? years ago when he was born he almost didn't survive. Multiple ground breaking operations saved his life not just as an infant but throughout his life. He had told me once not to complain about pain or being sick because he lived with it everyday. "If you're not coming in just say so. Don't sob story it." He made me promise to never use my daughter being sick as an excuse if it wasn't true. Children and family mean everything to him. He had been told he would probably never be a Dad but he defied the odds and had 2 amazing boys. I still remember the day the told us RL (his wife) was expecting number 3. I thought his dimples were going to explode he was so happy. I so hoped for a girl but son #3 was born. LE was about 2 and we convinced her to give up her pacifier by telling he #3 needed it more than she did. Now those boys are 17/14/9 (i think) and they are just like him(and that's a good thing). Everyday is full of life for ML. I remember him coming in and telling me how RL had yelled at him and the boys for the super soaker water gun fight they had.....IN the house. His defense was "it's only water..it'll dry." He's a fun dad. RL was raising 4 boys not 3. God bless her.
When LE was about 18 months old (she was talking in full sentences by 15 months) he asked her where Daddy was. He says to her "can you say Daddy's a loser?" (typical ML humour here) and she looked up at him and said "My daddy is not a loser you're Marloser". (a huge play on ML's real name) and from that day she called him Marloser. He would just laugh.
I cried the day ML was transfered out of my store. He could bring you to a blood boiling rage sometimes but when it came to understanding I was a working mother, he was/is the best. My husband and I would meet at my store to do the baby hand off and if he was running few minutes late it was always OK. Oh he would bust my chops but with a smile. No one I have worked for since (all male by the way) gets that like he did. I could have done without some of his practical jokes but I wouldn't trade the time I worked for him for anything.
Several months ago ML wasn't feeling well. A trip to the doctors brought unbelievable news. Cancer........in several places. Pain he had been feeling thinking it was just "his ' everyday pain wasn't. Now he is fighting for his life.
A few months ago a fund raising dinner was held for ML and his family. Maybe a few people would come right? 800 showed up. Some people, me included couldn't even get a ticket. The restaurant was packed. This past Tuesday night a retirement dinner was held for ML. The company recently offered a buyout package to old timers and he was able to take it. 500 people this time. Looking around that room you knew everyone had a ML story to tell. At the benefit he didn't give a speech. Tuesday he did. His voice filled with emotion. Thanking his family fighting by his side, His brother who would drive 30 miles one way to sell a ticket, to everyone who came to be with him that night. By the end of the night the exhaustion was apparent. His treatment is on going.
I don't now if I'll ever cross paths with him again in person but I pray I do. RL emails updates on his condition occasionally and I will certainly look forward to them. One of my current co-workers is very close to ML still, so I hear news from him. I'll continue to send him picture cards of LE. I was touched to hear at Christmas time she was on the "L" family wall-of-honor with all the nieces and nephews. Now her Easter card is on his fridge. Knowing this makes me feel so wonderful inside.
I'm not a very spiritual person but I pray everyday to whatever god I believe in (and that differs day to day) for more time for ML. Time for him to be able to see his sons grow up. To grow old with his wife. I know each day will be a battle but just give him more time to love and be loved by his family and friends. Bless him with the strength to fight this battle. Bless him with more time.