Thursday, April 3, 2008

Diva's New House

About 9 years ago my father (he lived in FL at the time) called to tell me he was selling his house down there and would I look for a 2 family house. He was breaking up with his girl friend and was selling his house . LE was 2 at the time and we lived in a beautiful old Victorian house as renters. Buying a home was a dream but we hadn't yet saved a down payment. My father agreed to give us the 10 thousand dollar down payment as my inheritance . We would not be obligated to pay him back. After seeing several dumps we found this house. It was empty and didn't need any work but changing the paint color in our bedrooms to match our taste. So in we moved. Father on the 1st floor and the 3 of us on the 2 and 3 floors. The thing is, I have paid this mortgage for 9 years and have never felt like it was mine. One day I found he had dug a veggie garden in the middle of the backyard. I do mean right smack dab in the middle. When we wanted a swing set for LE he argued that it wasn't anything needed in his yard. Do you see a trend here. HIS ,always referred to as his. After more than a year he found a new girl (if you can call a 72 yr old a girl) and decided to move in with her and why not then he didn't have any rent to pay(he gave us $200 a month for a $600-700 apartment) . Then we had to make a choice on who to move in downstairs. It's a whole other blog but my sister and mother were sharing a small apartment at the time. We asked my mother to move in so we had child care for LE. This worked out OK for a few years. But as time went on she had issues. First it was drinking. LE found her face down on the floor and she had to go to the hospital to dry out. Then she decided she didn't want to work anymore. Her social security wasn't enough to pay us the full rent (which was at least $300 less than market value) so we had to drop the price. Then we had to take over the electric bill. Again a pattern develops. Recently a note was sent up with LE. I HAD(notice the caps here) to deposit money into her checking account because she overdrew. Hmmmm, didn't ask me to borrow money just told me to. In November 2006 my sister's lease was not renewed do to issues with paying rent on time. With no money for security deposit ect she was going to be homeless. My mother was frantic so we allowed her to move into the spare bedroom in my mom's apartment. We asked for a small amount of rent. She was supposed to pay off bills she owed especially the ones she ran up in my mother's name and then save some money to go out on her own. Let's just say she hasn't saved a dime. Now I had a falling out with my father last summer. Basically he told me that he wished I had never been born. He never wanted a second child after sissy dear. This is the 2nd time in my life he told me this. The other was when I supported my mother in the divorce 25 years ago. Thought we had moved passed that but I was wrong. My sister was witness to the exchange last summer. Now daddy dearest relocated back here again in Jan 2008. He showed up at my store with hugs ect. When I pulled away he couldn't understand why. When I explained it to him he denied ever saying it. Still doesn't remember. Think my sister who was standing there would speak up? Nope. In fact she invited him over for Easter dinner. Now my parents are divorced for a reason. My mother hates him. Without asking permission sissy just invited him. My mother was pissed and so was I. I spent my day thinking any minute he would come through the door screaming at me. I was sick to my stomach the whole time. I know my dad and the day is coming near when I'll hear how ungrateful I am. All the years he lived in Fl he would come home for 3 months every summer. I would see him a few days after he got here. Just in time to collect his fathers day/birthday gifts and then just before he was leaving to go back. Oh and the big dinners. I would have to cook a huge expensive meal to entertain him. He would expect all his favorites (75-80 bucks easy). Never once in 8 years did he ever take us out to dinner. Once he had us over to the house he was borrowing. Hot dogs, burgers and a green salad. Whooptie freakin' do. Once he had me, borg ,le , sissy and her 2 boys meet him at restaurant in town. When the check came he handed it to me. ( I gave him the name of a new buffet here) He said you picked it I guess you get the check. I kid you not. But he did give me 20 bucks towards my sisters meal. YAY!! The other $100 was mine to pay. All these years I feel like I've been giving and getting nothing in return. My sister consistently turns down extra hours at work. Why not. She only needs to pay $200 dollars a month to live in a nice house, in a nice neighborhood with a brand new pool in the yard. Last year borg and I never got to enjoy that pool alone. She was outside everyday. She worked 7-11am and then was in the pool all day. I'm tired of struggling to keep other people afloat. How many times will I come home this summer to find her and dad floating around my pool. When I called my oldest nephew to tell him we are thinking about selling and finding a one family he told me somethings that were said during Easter dinner. Vicious things. Things that made me realize that I NEED to sell this house. I NEED to not worry about dad showing up. I NEED to be able to throw my shoes in the hallway without comments. I NEED to not feel taken advantage of. I NEED to raise my daughter not my mother and sister. I WANT to drop my mortgage payment almost $800 a month. I WANT to be able to cuddle with my husband(alone) in my pool when LE is staying at a friends. I WANT to be free of this awful feeling I have every time I come home. Now I have to tell them we are selling. Wish me luck. If you're in a 200 mile radius you'll probably hear the names they'll be calling me. But I NEED to do this.